dozyllama

Scaredy Cat

Two second-graders are arguing over whose father is the biggest scaredy cat. The first kid says, "My dad is so scared that when lightning strikes, he hides underneath the bed."

The second kid replies, "Yeah? Well, that's nothing. My dad is so scared that when my mom has to work the nightshift, he sleeps with the lady next door."

The one explaining the reasoning with the new back to front format?

I have input my two pennorth as I really do not like t this way and am fed up of going to bed early with a bad head! What about everyone else, areyou going to respond to Yahoo?

http://uk.blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-qT1KKPQoRKdVT4lo...

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer

heart attacks than the British or Americans.

On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and

also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or

Americans.

The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer

fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and

also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or

Americans.

Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. It's

speaking English that kills you.

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than

on Alzheimer's research.

This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

The Louisiana State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, and golfers to take extra precautions and keep alert for alligators while in St. Tammany, Jefferson & Orleans Parish.

They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as "little bells" on their clothing to alert, but not startle the alligators, unexpectedly.

They also advise the carrying of "pepper spray" in case of an encounter with an alligator. It's also a good idea to watch for fresh signs of alligator activity and be able to recognize the difference between young alligator and adult alligator droppings.

Young alligator droppings are small, contain fish bones and possibly bird feathers.

Adult alligators droppings have little bells in them and smell like pepper.

The computer has just told me I've answered my limit, so where have the other 4 answers gone then? You know I've been hunkered over the keyboard, tongue firmly stuck between teeth for hours, concentrating on regaining my level 4 status and now I find something or someone is cheating and nicking my answers! Well really..

I get my totals from 20 questions on day 1

20 questions on day 2

40 questions on day 3

40 questions on day 4

Now I know my mind ain't what it was but who has pinched my answers?!? It was bad enough losing my original account but for my answers to go walkies it's getting ridicklus!

The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand

is to search for water.

Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the

bird of true love?

A: The swallow.

Q: What do you get when you put a canary in a blender?

A: Shredded tweet

Q: What does a 500 pound parrot say?

A: Polly wants a cracker - NOW!

The Sheriff's Department in Mendocino County came upon a

huge crop of marijuana, illegally grown in the wilds, and

determined that it should be cut down, loaded on trucks

and transported to a remote beach on the coast and burned.

This was accomplished and as the evil weed was being

consumed, great clouds of smoke rose high into the sky.

At this time a large flock of terns, on their annual

migration, passed overhead and through the billowing

clouds of smoke. No tern was left unstoned.

A Duck took his girlfriend out for dinner to a top class

restaurant. After finishing the excellent meal the waiter

came over with coffee. As the waiter was leaving the duck

caught his attention. The waiter bent down and the duck

whispered, "Do you sell condoms in this establishment?"

quietly into his ear. "We certainly do." replied the waiter.

"In that case I'll have a pack of three." said the duck.

"Would you like me to put those on your bill?" asked the

waiter.

The duck, looking very offended, replied, "Hey, what do you

think I am, some kind of pervert!".

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/zdnet/20070801/ttc-laser-...